Why I Always Choose Love (part 1 of 7 million)

Love, is something that we all want. Whether it comes in the form of family, friends or a romantic relationship, it seems everyone wants it. A cousin of mine recently asked how I could have fallen in love just a year after my divorce. That made me think- initially I felt she was judging me and I was bout to go on a rant but I didn’t.

I, after a couple of hours of thinking about it, told her that I found love because I am always open to it, even when I am hurt. When I fell in love with lovely man known as the boyfriend, I wasn’t even anywhere near looking for love. I'd just walked out of a relationship I'd believe would last forever. I had plans of kids and drinking gin on the porch with my ex husband at an old age. When I realised that wasn’t going to happen, my system went into shock. You see, I knew for months before I actually left that we were not going to work out. So, in a panic, I tried everything under the sun- having sex even when I didn't want to, going for therapy, begging him to go for therapy, speaking to his parents, speaking to my parents, moving out for a little bit, asking if he wants to have sex with other women- when I say damn near everything, I mean just that.

There was a time when I thought that if I gave up on this love, I would be giving up on myself, so I came up with all kinds of new angles to try save it. In the end, nothing worked.

I figured I'd give myself time to heal and all of that stuff that grown people are encouraged to do when they split. It didn’t work out that way, some say that was y first mistake, I look at it as the first ray of hope to the future that I had in front of me.

A year down the line this chance meeting with the boyfriend is the second best thing to happen to me in a year and I couldn’t be happier.

My little bit of advice (keep in mind that I don’t know very much, so take it with a pinch of salt). No matter how much you've hurt, never close your heart off to love (all kinds). It is after all the centre of life.

The Proctrastinator

I am a procrastinator. It's a terrible quality that seems to creep into various aspects of my life. I'm the girl who started a blog then posted nothing on it for a few weeks...that ends now.
For the past few weeks I've been doing two things mainly - working and focusing on my diet. Somewhere in between that I've managed to see friends, fawn over my nephew and give loads of TLC to the lovely man I call my boyfriend. See I procrastinate but I'm a multi tasker :-)

The diet experience has been an interesting one considering the fact that I've gone most of my life eating whatever the hell I want. I'd not eaten any decent vegetables in over a decade (some mean bastard made it their job to point out that chips aren't veggies), I also generally don’t drink water- for years I told myself that the taste made me want to gag, so gin was always a better option (it's clear).

Fast forward to many creamy pasta dinner and fried chicken meals washed down with fizzy drinks, wine and almost anything alcoholic and I was looking and feeling like a mess. I had a meltdown in front of the boyfriend when my jeans wouldn’t fit and from that moment on, I decided that I will not be the chubby girl in summer... so started operation Summer Bunny.

No carbs (blasphemous I know), no sugar and veggies with every meal. The night before i was due to start, I did what any self respecting girl would do, I are everything in sight and drank wine directly from the bottle (okay I do this all the time but you get the point)

I was moody for a week, had no libido for a week (this alone made it tempting for me to eat a roll stuffed with chips and cheese, followed by creamy pasta) and my skin looked weird.

Now 3 weeks later, my skin looks good (the smoking makes it hard for it to be great) and I'm thinner, happier and feel pretty good.

Now that I've mastered (kind of) , the art of not procrastinating on my weight loss, I'm promising myself that I'll blog at least 3 times a week (even though no one reads this blog lol)

Love and happiness all round

Ninja's Aunt xxx

Hello World

Hi world, I am Ninja's Aunt. I'm someone's daughter, sister, friend, mentor (giggles) and one lucky bastard's girlfriend.

My blog is called NinjasAunt because it represents salvation for me, an outlet of sorts. I became the aunt to a Ninja on the 10th of March 2010 and my life hasn't been quite the same since. The Ninja saved me from myself, he showed me that there's a lot more to life than my rants and breakdowns. So this blog is dedicated to my nephew -Bo. In your eyes, I see hope and I see love from many generations- all of it living in you.

I started this blog because I miss writing. It's weird because I write for a living but it feels like I haven't written in years. This is my personal space to write what I like- it may not always make sense but I want to share it - even if it's only with myself. I've been threatening to start this blog for ages now but I've spent the last few months chasing my own tail for most of the time.

A wise friend told me to stop running and look at myself and deal with what and who Iam. I did that for the first time in ages the other day, and scary as it was, I needed to check myself because I was starting to fight against my own cause.

So here, I share my great bits, my ugly bits, my neurotic moments and everything in between.

Love and light to anyone who may come across this blog.