Love, is something that we all want. Whether it comes in the form of family, friends or a romantic relationship, it seems everyone wants it. A cousin of mine recently asked how I could have fallen in love just a year after my divorce. That made me think- initially I felt she was judging me and I was bout to go on a rant but I didn’t.
I, after a couple of hours of thinking about it, told her that I found love because I am always open to it, even when I am hurt. When I fell in love with lovely man known as the boyfriend, I wasn’t even anywhere near looking for love. I'd just walked out of a relationship I'd believe would last forever. I had plans of kids and drinking gin on the porch with my ex husband at an old age. When I realised that wasn’t going to happen, my system went into shock. You see, I knew for months before I actually left that we were not going to work out. So, in a panic, I tried everything under the sun- having sex even when I didn't want to, going for therapy, begging him to go for therapy, speaking to his parents, speaking to my parents, moving out for a little bit, asking if he wants to have sex with other women- when I say damn near everything, I mean just that.
There was a time when I thought that if I gave up on this love, I would be giving up on myself, so I came up with all kinds of new angles to try save it. In the end, nothing worked.
I figured I'd give myself time to heal and all of that stuff that grown people are encouraged to do when they split. It didn’t work out that way, some say that was y first mistake, I look at it as the first ray of hope to the future that I had in front of me.
A year down the line this chance meeting with the boyfriend is the second best thing to happen to me in a year and I couldn’t be happier.
My little bit of advice (keep in mind that I don’t know very much, so take it with a pinch of salt). No matter how much you've hurt, never close your heart off to love (all kinds). It is after all the centre of life.
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